After a three-day suspension from face book, I’ve had time to observe and reflect on several things. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster; disappointed that I couldn’t connect with those who have been supportive. I missed doing my LIVES. Being able to speak freely and discuss a topic that is very important to me has been my coping mechanism. It has been what has assisted in my sanity during the pandemic.
So, as I realize that another week is ending, I also realize that I’m spending another Friday night home alone watching TV; not because I had to be, but because I wanted to be. I AM COMPLETELY CONTENT WITH SPENDING MY TIME ALONE. The one thing that taking care of my mental health has done, has allowed me to fall completely in love with myself. When you are IN LOVE with yourself, you value the alone time. I no longer dread being alone; I embrace it. As much as I want to get out and go swimming and bowling again, I DONT FEEL LIKE IT.
I’m not interested in committing long term to anything. When I wanted to, there were restrictions; I wasn’t going to allow any person or thing to determine how I felt any longer. That is what had driven me to the place I was in. If I am to fill my time …days and/or nights…with anyone or doing anything, I will do it out of desire; not desperation, begging, loneliness, obligation or anything less than it’s what I want to do.
Let’s all take care of our mental health and stop negatively affecting the mental health of other’s whom we interact with on a regular basis. Let’s grow together in spite of whatever another person’s mental illness may be, in order to gain insight and mutual support. After all, no one should feel alone. Defy the stigma of mental health.
Dying to be Perfect 