Stop the bullying!

IT’S CRAZY HOW FROM AS A TEEN UNTIL NOW, I’VE NEVER HAD TO MISS MUCH WORK DUE TO ILLNESS OR THE NORMAL MONTHLY FEMALE ISSUES. NOW, AT FIFTY- ONE, STILL WITH MONTHLY FEMALE ISSUES, I AM PHYSICALLY ILL NEARLY EVERY MONTH AND CANNOT GET OUT OF BED. IMAGINE BEING PRE MENIPAUSALE, GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE SYMPTOMS, INSOMNIA, BEING SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED, SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, GOING THROUGH A NASTY DIVORCE, AND PMDD ALL AT THE SAME TIME. TODAY MOST PEOPLE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL OF THESE TERMS REFER TO. MOST ARE MENTAL ILLNESSES. EVEN IF IT ISN’T A MENTAL ILLNESS, IT CAN, AND USUALLY DOES, EFFECT MENTAL HEALTH.

This was a thing for me today because I really cannot afford to miss work. I am still in my probation period and have not yet started accruing sick/vacation time. I was nearly out of the door but was physically ill and could not pull myself together. All day, I’ve been in this bed feeling too bad to move. I know that tomorrow will probably be horrible from all of the backed-up work that will be a result of me being out today. Had I gone to work today and not produced due to not feeling well that would have also been a problem. This is why I always say that you never know what people are going through. Every person we encounter throughout our day is dealing with issues that we know nothing about. No matter how big or small they may seem, when the issues are compounded with work and work with home/medical, etc. and then there are multiple things taking place simultaneously, the smallest unkind word or gesture can negatively affect a person’s mental state and cause them serious detriment.

This morning I ended up having to listen to two people vent about issues they were dealing with at work. The issues were similar, yet they worked for two different employers. Listening to their stories, I realized that my experiences throughout the years weren’t isolated. Adults tend to ignore, deny and shift blame; however, let’s just be honest…many fully grown adults are stressed and unhappy with their jobs because of workplace bullying. That’s right! Adults are bullying too! Harassment…retaliation…favoritism…cliques…call it what you want; It’s bullying. One of the young ladies was terminated for screaming at a woman who had been threatening new employees and regularly calling the more tenured employees dumb and speaking down to them about their work performance. The other being threatened to be fired if she doesn’t get better at her job.

As I am listening to this nonsense, I am furious because these are some of the reasons that good employees leave companies. I have not worked anywhere that doesn’t outline workplace harassment in their employee handbook. Even with this being an essential part of every company’s training, bullying to be a normal part of the culture for many companies is very prevalent and normal. When I see some of the childish things that some of the adults do, I know where the children get their bullying from. Bullying does not only consist of threatening to harm someone or taking their lunch money. It can be sabotaging their work, spreading rumors that you know are untrue, simply to get others to dislike them; purposely making their work environment unhealthy.

Every employee deserves the right to work in a healthy work environment. All of the aforementioned things can bring about unnecessary mental anguish. When an individual spends between eight and nine hours per day at work having to deal with people who are harassing them, a volatile situation can ensue. HR is your best resource and should be contacted immediately. Churches and other organizations have the same issues taking place. Many people are pretending that they are unaware that adult bullying is taking place; however, when/if I see it, I am calling it for what it is. The person that puts the bullies in their place and stands up for their rights isn’t the one to look out for. Most often he/she will quit/resign/request a transfer or simply work through it. Oftentimes nothing is done, and the cycle continues. Usually, it’s the one who is quiet…whom you least expect…who ends up retaliating and harming someone at the office or becomes the murder/suicide victim. If you are vocal and speak up, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. If you are silent, you may become one of them.

Because I am familiar with the HR laws, I can detect a bad culture immediately. Hearing the ladies speak about this at their jobs and someone else saying it goes on in a group they are a member of angers me. During this pandemic, we have come to a point that so many traumatic experiences are happening to many of us, yet we think we are alone. So many people could be putting their heads and hearts together to heal, but they think no one else is going through what they are experiencing. It is surprising to me how many life parallels exist today. What is even more surprising is that many people are ignorant to the laws regarding employment harassment; therefore, they simply allow it. Jobs are extremely difficult to come by. There is no way anyone should accept being treated less than fairly. If we don’t tolerate our children being bullied, why should we settle for it in our workplaces?

SPEAK UP! Know your rights! Mental Health Matters