It’s amazing how quickly life passes by. We simply live our daily lives, going through the same routines. Oftentimes, many of us aren’t even putting any major thought into what we are doing, moving about on autopilot. We look up, and before we know it, it’s March 6, 2022. Already it is the first Sunday of March as well as the first Sunday of Lent in what was just the New Year; the beginning of 2022. The Lenten Season has begun. I, like many of you have had to re-start my journey to be NEW IN 2022 several times since Thanksgiving when this began. WOW! is all I can say. Time does not wait.
In order to begin the process of being new, we have to change from within. This process begins with realizing that we must be in a healthy frame of mind. Therefore, realizing the importance of taking care our mental health has become a priority for me, as well as encouraging others to do the same. For many, the difficulty of identifying that we have issues that need to be addressed, or even beginning treatment once diagnosed, is the fear of being labeled. For me it was not wanting to take medication. I fought my doctors at length for over a year about taking medication. After repeated attempts at failing to fix things on my own, I began my mental healing process by trusting my doctors, therapist, and pastor and began to take the medication that I was told would help me. The medication, along with other coping skills, when used as suggested, have definitely made a huge difference in my progress.
Although this is the case, what you must understand is that our mental health is similar to the physical health. If not properly maintained, we can relapse. In addition, we have to continue to communicate our moods, feelings, etc. in order to identify if any changes in therapy, medications, etc. are needed. I KNOW THESE THINGS. I SPEAK TO OTHERS in reference to the importance of this very topic. I, like others, think that I have it under control…I have the formula…the truth is, we cannot be our own doctor. I have been attempting to wean myself off of my anxiety medication. I look at my dresser and it looks like a pharmacy. Only one of the RX is for my mental health. The rest are for physical things. I chose to stop taking the one that I thought I could manage without, and it has been an epic, fail.
My anxiety attacks are brought on by high stress, feelings of being intentionally mistreated, the thought of failing, and being placed in situations which remind me of how I arrived at this unfamiliar place in my life. Now I’m realizing that post pandemic, large crowds can be a trigger for my anxiety as well. I attended a concert last week, and today church was surprisingly crowded. There were more people than there have been since before the pandemic. Both situations triggered an attack. This was not an issue pre-pandemic; however, had I not discontinued my meds, the anxiety may have still been present, but the full-blown attack would not have been an issue.
These incidents confirmed for me that if we TRULY want to be in charge of our mental health, we must be serious about doing the work. We must participate FULLY and do whatever it takes. I am sure that those who cared and assisted me today were worried and frightened; not knowing what was happening. Others may have known, and then there are some…there will ALWAYS be some who don’t care…don’t understand. They believe that anxiety attacks are nothing major…that is, until they experience one. Being in such a vulnerable situation, I am worried more about the people who are caring for me than I do FOR ME. It is extremely imperative that we care for us as best we can to prevent worrying those who love us.
After today’s attack, I re-start my Lenten journey anew, not removing anything, but by adding my anxiety medication back into my regimen. In addition, I focus on the fact that as long as I am taking this medication, I may not be in perfect health, but I am in a state of mind where I am able to function in a way which allows me to properly cope with the ongoing and sudden changes that occur around me daily. I also pray that others realize the importance of taking mental health and the treatment of such seriously. When God is ready for me to live without the RX it will be revealed. Until then, I will do whatever needed to effectively manage my mental health.
If we truly want to move into a positive direction, we have to stop attempting to be in control of our lives and allow God to lead us. Romans 8:28 says all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose. My panic attacks over these past two weeks have shown me that I AM NOT in control. It pains me to see people worry, as I know how it is to worry. In order to do what I can to prevent another incident like today, I will take my medications as prescribed and allow God and my doctors to handle the rest. Each experience of this journey that I face daily is another story that I have to tell, another trial that I have overcome, and a lesson that I have learned in order to pass on to someone who too, is battling with some form of mental illness or helplessly watching a loved one fight while quietly hiding behind the stigma of mental illness.
Don’t hide in the darkness too long. Three months have already been lost. Time is of the essence. If we want to be NEW at the end of 2022, we have to do the work now. Let’s make this our Lenten Penitence. Allow God to be in control of our lives and make mental health the #1 priority. Help yourself. Help someone you love. Let’s focus on our mental health. We have to stop dying trying to be perfect.
Defy the stigma
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!
Dying to be Perfect 