As I sit here, I realize that I have literally been laying in this same spot for the last seventy-two hours. I have not left my bed other than to go to the bathroom and answer the door. I have not been in a good place in almost two weeks. My time with my grandson has been affected, and I haven’t really communicated with many friends. I have tried so many different things to bring myself out of this funk to no avail. My doctor has adjusted my prescription, yet nothing is working. I simply have no energy, and the fact that I cannot get this divorce finalized is not helping my mood. You see, between the stress from him contesting the divorce, major financial problems, the depression and anxiety, coupled with the side effects of menopause and PMS, I feel like I am losing my damn mind!
Reading this, some are probably thinking “Wow! this is my life”. Others probably can’t image. All I know is that this has been the most challenging, yet spiritually awakening time of my life. While going through my highs and lows, I have learned to trust God and use my faith and experiences to help others through their process. Not knowing how I am going to feel from one day to the next, and the outcome of my mood at the end of day is often being determined by the day’s events. This is a challenge for me. I truly empathize with anyone else who experiences any form of mental illness.
What many people fail to realize is that oftentimes, those like myself, who suffer from mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression, often deal with loved ones who are battling mental illnesses of their own. For example, I have close friends who have been diagnosed for years. Some of them have been on medication and some have not. We deal with and go through the process together. The key is not being afraid to talk about it. I also have those around me who are in denial of their issues. They are NEVER wrong, will NEVER apologize, and make excuses for everything they do. Finally, the worst ones are those who admit to being diagnosed with a mental illness, go to therapy, have the medication yet refuse to take it. This person gets mad at everyone who tells them their actions are wrong and downright offensive and that they need to take their medicine. No matter what the situation is, my being open about my mental health has afforded me the opportunity to learn more about who I am and how to navigate through life while managing the highs and lows which are affected by my anxiety and depression.
Although I empathize with the inner turmoil that others go through, I do not accept the verbal and emotional abuse any longer. If people do not care enough about their loved ones to get help for their mental health issues, we must protect our peace and move out of the negative space. April is family mental health month. How is your mental health affecting your family? Let’s talk about it.
Dying to be Perfect 