Look at God! He is amazing! One year ago, today, on April 26, 2021, I started this Mental Health platform. After growing tired of trying to reconcile my failed marriage, and finally accepting that my husband, who had abandoned his family and no longer had any intention on making things right, I filed for divorce. I then made peace with my decision, and as a part of my healing process, started this platform Dying to be Perfect as a first step in telling My Story…My Struggles...My Journey...My Trauma through mental illness.
Although the purpose of my platform is to allow others to find their voice in order to seek help for their mental illness, it also continues to help me during my process of healing. What so many do not comprehend is that the effects of trauma, depending on the severity and the individual, can be ongoing. When my husband initially left, COVID began directly after. There were surgeries, job losses, financial issues and many other major issues immediately following. All of these things played a major role and severely affected my mental health and being able to fully heal.
Now, a year later, though difficult, my platform is still up and running. Oftentimes I want to throw in the towel, however, God is still telling me to focus on HIM and His purpose for my life. Even when the enemy continues to distract me…I continue to focus on my son’s hurt, which in turn, hurts me. The hurt is what drives me to keep going. I want to give up, yet, my God has not given up on me. He continues to bring my focus back to Him. He removes the stumbling blocks and places the right people in my path who continue to encourage me.
When I have wanted to give up, I receive calls or messages that I have saved a life. When I am frustrated, I get a message letting me know that I have encouraged someone. God has touched me, whispered to me and confirmed for me that not everyone will agree, and it is ok. My purpose is to save a life through MY STORY. THIS IS MY STORY. I am telling it from MY experience…MY feelings…MY perspective...MY life, and the opinion of others does not matter. If I save just one life through MY TRUTH, I have served the plan that God has for me. The most important life that I have saved through all that I do is the life of my son; he definitely has saved mine.
This year has been filled with highs and lows, good days and bad days. I have had failures and successes; some have supported me, and some have not. God has removed people from my life and replaced them with better, but through it all, the one constant has been that focusing on my mental health has allowed me to become a better me. This doesn’t mean I will be perfect. None of us will EVER be perfect. Nor does it mean that we will have all of the answers. Focusing on our mental health simply means that we will learn to love who we are…flaws and all…we will be ok with our imperfections and live for God and ourselves instead of attempting to seek the approval of those around us. We will understand that judging is God’s job, alone, and when we attempt to do so, we can inflict harm on those around us. When we focus on fixing US, we have less time to judge others.
In this next year, I claim continued blessings and abundance over my life, my platform and my supporters. I pray that those in need of healing find the support, encouragement, patience and love that they seek from loved ones. Though it may seem easy, overcoming trauma, whether it be a result of childhood trauma or a recent experience, there is a process to healing.
What we all must remember is that different things work for different people, and there are some people who will NEVER admit to having a mental illness or personality disorder. Therefore, these people will likely NEVER seek help (narcissist). Judging people for not seeking help, or for not being “cured”, or still struggling with their traumas can cause trauma in itself. This is why I advocate the way I do. I believe that when people tell their personal stories others can do what works best for them based on their situation. No matter how similar a situation is, our mental illness, traumas, support, resources…something will be different so we will not be able to handle it the same way. I know that it took me a while to accept that I needed therapy. It has taken some others a long time to finally go to therapy; some know they need it and still haven’t gone. When others were patient with us, how can we not be patient with others? We can be encouraging, supportive, loving, and patient simultaneously.
I continue to pray, that over this next year, we grow to love one another in spite of our differences. If we share our experiences, we can possibly allow others to feel comfortable enough to share their fears and experiences; allowing them the opportunity to face their traumas and care for their mental health. We put so much pressure on one another to be perfect when we aren’t perfect ourselves. These are some of the reasons people won’t talk, feel ashamed, alone and even resort to committing suicide.
My continued prayer is that through prayer, God’s guidance, and the continued assistance of my supporters, the understanding will come that caring for our mental health is an ongoing process. Moreover, we must forever be mindful that wanting to be mentally healed and the ability to be is as difficult a process as being healed from a physical illness.
This Anniversary I celebrate with all of you whom God has removed from being stumbling blocks. I especially thank those of you whom he has placed in my path as supporters. Thank you, Monique, Kine, and Carmelita for the continuous love and support and bringing me in from the ledge. Everyone needs a Monique but Carmelita, everyone needs one of you in their life too. Karissa, without you, this could not be possible, and I appreciate you more than you know. Finally, I thank my guests for your transparency. I appreciate the time you gave to share your experiences to express how important mental health is in order to save a life. I look forward to continuing the work that God has purposed me to do in this year and beyond with your continued support. This is truly My Winning Season! Don’t forget to spread the word that we are saving lives one mind at a time by caring for our mental health.
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!! Defy the Stigma of Mental Health!
Dying to be Perfect 