Its May 2nd, and Day two of Mental Health Awareness Month. Daily, as I work on a healthier me…MIND, BODY, and SOUL, I know there are areas in my life that have improved, and there are areas that still have room for improvement. Ensuring that we become our complete NEW, requires an internal makeover. This consists of the people, places, and things around us. When we have positively began our transformation, our thought process changes, our energy becomes positive, and we begin to feel positive about ourselves. We treat others the way we would want them to treat us.
As my process began, I took a self-inventory and though difficult, I saw the negativity, the depression, the sadness in others; I realized that it was what people were seeing in me. Listening to the stories, I realized what my family and friends were going through. Although my depression was situational, it was hard, coupled with PMDD, to come out of it. Finally accepting that I needed help made me realize how important the support of family and friends are when suffering from a mental illness; it is, however, a two-way relationship. WE HAVE TO DO OUR PART. There are things that I failed to realize; yet had my husband gone to therapy as I’d asked several times, we would have possibly realized together.
There’s no secret that the lack of intimacy in a romantic relationship can cause it to fail. What I have discovered through my process is that sexual dysfunction can negatively impact our mental health. On Day 2 of Mental Health Awareness Month, I am focusing on the importance of great intimacy and regular sex in a relationship. As women, many of us, myself included, have been in relationships where the sex has been amazing and VERY FREQUENT. As soon as you move in together or get married things STOP ABRUPTLY!! Oftentimes it’s the women, but there are times when it is the fellas. There are excuses from I’M TIRED to I HAVE A HEADACE and everything in between.
Any problem that interferes with our enjoyment of sex is a sexual dysfunction. For men and women, this can include problems with desire, arousal, reaching an orgasm or even painful sex that women often complain about. For many people, the “act” of sex transcends beyond the physical aspect. If they are emotionally detached, it may affect their performance. The most common issue with men that women complain about is erectile dysfunction. This, and the small size of a man’s penis, often cause insecurity, though it is usually not expressed. For women, typically vaginal dryness, a lack of rest, and the inability to achieve an orgasm; all of these issues nearly every woman experiences due to menopause. Menopause can cause additional emotional strain and exacerbate pre’ existing mental health issues. It was surprising to me that men, too, go through hormone imbalances.
I have spoken with many women who have stated that they have been in a sexless marriage. MANY… MANY… MANY men and women have admitted to not having sex IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP for over a year. Here Iam beating myself up and some women simply aren’t interested. The only time I have gone that long while married is when my husband was recuperating from his hospital stay. After hearing this, I realized how he must have felt. Without knowing, I began to use sex as a reward. Seeing things from clearer eyes, I now know better. Sex Is EXTREMELY important! NO!!! GOOD SEX, IS EXTREMELEY important. It allows us to connect with our partner, it releases endorphins. We have to take care of whatever is affecting us in the bedroom. Give our partners REAL expectations. In turn, we must listen to them. Not being able to enjoy the satisfaction of your mate (when you are doing nothing to work on it) is selfish. Men, if each time you attempt to make love to your partner, you can’t rise to the occasion, you owe it to her to fix it. Women, month after month of painful sex or no energy without seeking help is not ok.
So much more of our lives can be easier if we simply remove the masks and stop pretending that we don’t feel…don’t see…don’t need anything or anyone. Guys, I witnessed first-hand, the different levels of mental illness, and what seems minor to you may be major to me. Treat everyone as you would have them treat you. A lack of sex and the ability for a man to perform can cause depression, which we know is a mental illness. Communication is key when sexual dysfunction is in issue. The longer the issue goes unaddressed in a relationship, the worse the relationship will get. Remember fellas, gone are the ladies who don’t like sex. It is IMPORTANT TO US TOO!
Allow yourself to fully enjoy your relationship. Love yourself mind, body, and soul. Let us focus on our healing. Our doctors are there for a reason. Most women go through similar female issues just as most men face similar male issues. If we stop hiding and feeling as if we are alone or ashamed of what we are experiencing, we will realize that WE ARE NOT ALONE. We can share our experiences and be able to help each other with resources. Through effective communication, we can save relationships, families, and marriages one mind at a time. The mind is a terrible thing to waste; however, the body is too. Use it for the purpose of enhancing and nurturing your relationship. Good sex will blow your mind and allow you to enhance your love relationships. Happy mind… happy body…happy life.
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!! Defy the Sigma!!!
Dying to be Perfect 