To Sum it up

The past four days have been extremely busy. From college decision day, enjoying being nanny to my glamson, getting ready for Sr. Prom, preparing to move, still, numerous dr. visits and several other things, the days have been going by like a blur. Thankfully, they have been with minimal stress, and much progress. These past few days have been some happy times.

Being that so many days have passed, I’ve been negligent in sending out the word of the day for Mental Health Awareness Month. Thankfully, God always has a plan. All of the words that I’d chosen fit together. They sort of affect one another. Day 4 was suicide. There have been two in the news recently. One, a well-known singer; rich, beautiful, famous, and seventy-six years old. The other, a college student; ordinary young girl, cheerleader, a freshman, no more that eighteen years old, and attractive. Both of these females, beautiful in spirit, loved by many, yet still struggled with their mental health and battled to the point of committing suicide. Wynona Judd, having mental illness, had disclosed hers, and the cheerleader, a young teenager, had not. Leaving a note, the Freshman college student speaks of her multiple thoughts of suicide and previous suicide notes. Admitting to never admitting to feelings of loneliness and her friends thinking she was ok. Wynona Judd had revealed previously that she suffered from mental illness. From the sound of the announcements her daughter’s made, Wynona’s family was very supportive. At such a beautiful time as Mother’s Day, no mother should have to bury their child, and definitely not to suicide. Although the order of God’s plan is for daughters to bury their mothers, it should not be to suicide. As much as we do not want to speak about it, the need for the conversation exists. Our mental Health is extremely important. We must focus on it, mind body and spirit. Speaking to our teens and young adults about a healthy mind, peer pressure, what is happening with them, their thoughts, and yes, even the ugly word suicide is imperative. Ignoring the discussion about suicide will not prevent it from happening, and, speaking about it will not cause it to happen.

There are different personality types and they of course, carry different characteristics. In addition, different people, for various reasons and various experiences, see mental health, suicide, and other things relating to mental health overall, differently, Day 5 we focused on empathy. Many, not all, empaths look at suicide as a brick wall feeling for the victim. He/she had no other alternative. Day 6 we focused on Narcissism. Narcissists usually see suicide as a selfish and uncaring act. They have no remorse, and oftentimes mock the person who committed the act. Narcissists and empaths are polar opposites. Me being an empath and being married to a narcissist for over twenty years, I can attest to the fact that it all negatively effects mental health due to the long-term emotional abuse. Empaths love with their entire selves. We feel that if we love and give the love we want, the narcissist will love us the same in return. We, therefore, repeatedly give multiple chances until we grow tired. Usually, though, the narcissist abandons because he/she can no longer control and moves on to another project/victim. Empaths, can easily get stuck in a relationship because the person they love, especially the narcissist, is extremely clever when reeling them in. The empath is so in tune with the feelings of others that it’s almost as if they can read a person’s mind.

Day 7 we discussed trauma. Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Trauma can affect how we feel about ourselves and how we relate to others. Most of us have been through some kind of trauma; some more severe than others. Depending on our mental state, the severity of the trauma our personality types, etc. will determine how the trauma will affect us. Some get over their trauma quickly and some never recover. Relationship trauma, especially when dealing with a narcissist will almost always end in a failed relationship and the trauma will probably take a while to recover from. Narcissistic/Empathetic relationships bring trauma. We cannot work on our mental health yet continue to remain in the same toxic relationships. In order to be our best selves, we must be in healthy relationships; relationships that are enhancing and nourishing our entire mind, body, and spirit. In order for this to take place, we cannot continue to take the mental health of us, our family or those around us lightly. This is definitely important when it concerns empath/narcissistic relationships. We cannot overstay in relationships and wait for the trauma to take place.

In addition, we have to be aware of the relations that we often enter into as a “bounce back”. Day 8 is Trauma Bond. This takes place between two people who enter into a relationship based off of each other’s trauma. They feed off of each other, attempting to be the others source of comfort. Trauma Bond can be dangerous because if there is therapy, suicidal thoughts, addiction or unresolved issues involved, when one person relapses or begins to spiral, it can cause the other to do the same. Some trauma bond relationships, however, do work.

To sum it up, as always, is that caring for our mental health, as always, is extremely important. Our minds, bodies, and spirits are in desperate need of care. The relationships we engage in, our bonds, our trauma, whether or not we are empathetic or narcissistic, can affect our overall mental health and our suicidal struggles and how we see suicide as a whole. On this Mother’s Day, 2022, the son’s and daughter’s that we have buried due to mental illness or at the hand of others, is the clear proof that MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!!

Defy the Stigma