Well, it seems that FINALLY, Spring has sprung! It is May 10, 2022, and Day 10 of MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH. It is a beautiful day to finally get out and enjoy the weather and the sunshine and breathe in fresh air and get the much needed, vitamin D for our minds and body. As we focus on our mental health, we continue to focus on words and terms during this month, that help us to understand more about what mental illness is, what it is about, how it affects us and those we love, and why it is imperative that we care for our minds AND bodies. Today’s word is Grief.
Grief is defined as a deep sorrow usually associated with death; pain; broken heartedness. Grief is the natural reaction to loss.; it is the emotional process that we experience as the result of loss. Although grief is commonly used in reference to a loss to death, people grieve over the loss of jobs and relationships too. When a long-term marriage has ended, we often associate it with death because it is the death of a marriage. When one grieves, it is a process. It is not something that a person can simply “GET OVER“. Grieving takes time, and the process is different for each individual and depends on different factors.
Although it is a fact that getting over grief is a process, we never want to sit in it for too long, because like anything, it can become comfortable and a part of our normal routine. This could negatively affect us because grief affects our mental health, which could ultimately affect our physical health. Much of the process of grief is determined by our own coping style and personality. Psychologists list five stages of grief as the process that we go through as we navigate through to our healing. The initial stage is denial. This is where we do all we can to prevent accepting it. I remember when my husband walked out. I repeatedly told myself that it was temporary; that we needed to talk about it, and we would be ok. My heart knew that it was over, but my mind wouldn’t accept it. I was in denial. As time went on, my denial began to turn into anger. How dare he bail on me…my anger turned into rage…angry about the lies he’d told to me, on me, and about me. Lies that he told on me and about me, to me kids…I often wished him, even the two of them, DEAD. I was blind with anger. Gradually, my anger shifted to bargaining or almost hoping that things would get better. The next stage is depression. I’m all too familiar with this. I sank deeper and deeper as time went on. Finally, acceptance. This is when I took charge and decided that I would move forward with my life and began making plans and adjustments for my new life.
We must remember that these stages of grief are usually associated with those of us who have experienced loss. The stages can come in any order, may come repeatedly, and there is no time frame on the length of frame that they can last. Because so many rush others during their grieving process, some will never reach the stage of acceptance, and will be stuck in the grief phase. This is unhealthy to the mind and body.
Although we cannot be rushed through our grieving process, we too, much realize when we are not making progress. If we stay stuck in our grief too long, and we are not moving forward at all. we need to seek counseling. No matter how strong we think we are, loss can cause a different type of pain. Grief, in coping with the pain of loss; will have us feeling as if we’ve been on merry go round. No matter what, Grief is a natural process and nothing to be ashamed of. The key is to not allow us to sit is for too long.
Dying to be Perfect 