One week ago today, my baby boy, my Snickerdoodle, became a high school graduate. I still cannot believe it. Not to mention, my baby girl turned twenty-two years old on yesterday. I am feeling joy, sadness, regret, thankfulness, anger, fear, and doubt, simultaneously. I am sad about what brought me to this place, yet I am happy to finally be here. I am finally in a place where I can begin to stop blaming me…stop accepting the responsibility of the negligence of others. I can finally stop trying to make up for what others are not doing for my son. I am finally in a place where I realize that my son is old enough to see who is and is not doing their part.
I now look forward to spending time with my NEW and EXTENDED Family. I no longer waste the precious days God has given me missing the way things were. I revel in the joy of new opportunities and wonderful days ahead. I look at my family, and I am thankful. I realize that I wasted years wondering and praying for the hurt and pain to be removed when all along, there was a purpose for my pain.
James I: 2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”. From this, we, as believers, can gather that God has a goal for us when He allows us to suffer. To begin with, we are able to find our own strength. Secondly, we are able to expand our endurance through our pain. In addition, as with all experiences, we begin to mature with each painful experience. We become educated each time we go through a painful experience. Finally, through pain, there is hope for a better reward; something to look forward to. In PAIN, we find our PURPOSE.
I know that I went through my pain in order to get my children through school. God was teaching me a lesson. He wanted me to regain my independence that I begrudgingly gave up. While waiting, I suffered through the heartache and heartbreak that I did while in the process of preparing me for a different purpose…a more fulfilling life. Through my pain, I found my purpose of being able to encourage, love, and nurture my son, heal broken relationships and begin new family traditions. With me realizing that God brings pain in order that we may use it for good, I have been able to help others to fight through their pain and find healing…find their purpose.
As the weeks and months go by, and I watch Noah constantly mature into a responsible young man, I am thankful that God saw it fitting for me to have another opportunity to show love, receive love, and encourage others to not give up on love. All of the pain that I endured, although hurtful, I am thankful to God for. I have refocused and taken my life back and have addressed mental health issues with my children in order to break the cycle. Most of all, we, as a family are able to right wrongs and end dysfunctional relationships while building new, healthier ones. I have found Purpose in my Pain.
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!! Defy the Stigma!
Dying to be Perfect 