Today, Wednesday, July 27, 2022, is a day that I will never forget. On this day, my sweet friend, Tara, was laid to rest. It’s not the day that I learned of her passing, or the day that she died that will be forever engrained in my mind. It is the day that I said my final goodbye that will always remind me of my forever friend. Tweetdy (how she spelled it in 4th grade) was laid to rest on the day before her birthday. Every year for as long as I can remember, I called her on her birthday. Tomorrow and forever after, her birthday will be that special day that reminds me of my sweet friend.
Sweet is the only way I can define Tweedys’ spirit. She was funny, genuine, classy, and down to earth, and she possessed a sweet spirit. The love shown and the tears shed for her loss is a testimony of who she was as a person. Being a mom, daughter, mate, sister, aunt and friend is a difficult task. Anyone is bound to drop the ball attempting to carry out so many roles for so many people, yet Tweetdy managed to fill all of these roles gracefully while executing love, kindness, and gentleness. Moreover, her faith, love and belief in the Power of God while maintaining a life altering illness of her own, took humility and a selfless spirit. I am confident that we can be comforted in knowing she was mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared for whatever God had for her, and that she is safe in His arms.
Today’s Homegoing for Tweetdy was beautiful. I was sad for myself and her friends and family who will miss her…her parents who had to bury her…her children and grandchildren who didn’t get to love her enough. I rejoice however, because my dear, sweet, friend’s eulogy was absolutely beautiful. As the pastor so eloquently stated, ” Tara knew some things, and she knew that this is a part of life”. No matter how difficult loss is, “some things we know. We know we will all die”, yet it seems that we are never prepared for the hurt that it brings; still, I find joy in knowing that my friend knew that God was good to her, and she continued to love and serve Him until her last breath.
Reflecting further on the eulogy, pastor was accurate in comparing Tweetdy’s faith with the words taken from St. Paul…There are ten things about suffering we must understand…suffering is normal…suffering leads to hope…even in sin, suffering can cause change...God is sovereign over our suffering…as Christians, we will suffer in several different ways…we do not suffer alone…suffering brings glory to God...God comforts us in our suffering so that we might comfort others….our suffering, in the light of eternal glory, is brief and light…we can rejoice in our suffering. During her suffering, Tweetdy showed, through her actions, that she believed in God’s sovereignty. She knew and understood that this was a normal part of life that we would all endure; therefore, she rejoiced in it. She suffered silently and God rewarded her by making her suffering light; rather than question it, she rejoiced in it; knowing that she was never alone in her suffering Tara believed that God was with her, and through her suffering, Tara became stronger in her spirit, while being a testimony to others.
Leaving the church, the downtrodden spirit I had come with was no more. My sweet friend left me and her loved ones with a sense of peace that while she will be missed, she was accepting of God’s calling. The pain of missing her will last for many of us for a long time to come. Some may even be affected mentally due to the ability for grief to leave some individuals vulnerable to depression. It is important, then, that we understand that grief is both normal, and personal. We must allow everyone to grieve in their own time and way that is healthy. In addition, ensuring that none of us are sitting in our grief for too long, psychologists suggest that we try not to take too long to return to normal activities or over-indulge in drugs and/or alcohol as coping mechanisms. Seeking mental health therapy is also important for anyone having a difficult time healing from a loss. Therapy was key for me when I was finding it impossible to heal from my loss.
Finally, leaving the church, saying goodbye was bittersweet. I am blessed to have had a friend in Tara for all of these years; to see her change from a girl into a loving and caring woman, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I hurt, nonetheless because I will miss picking up where we left off, as we always do. I will miss her genuine spirit…always encouraging…always loving. I will forever love and miss her as many will. This loss is different however, in that I believe I will be better mentally because I am comforted in knowing that after forty-three years of friendship, Tweetdy was still that same kind, loving and sweet friend. Every July 28th going forward, I will think of Tara Roxanne Johnson, My Sweet Friend who lived a beautiful life, yet went home with so much life left to live.
Tara Roxanne Johnson 7/28/69-7/20/22 Loving daughter, mother, sister, aunt, faithful friend and above all, disciple for Christ
Did you know that this was Tweetdy’s favorite song? Click on the link to listen.
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