Today is Wednesday, August 10, 2022. We are seven months into the year. Although we are more than halfway through 2022, it seems like the year just began. Before we know it, we’ll be looking at 2023; a new year, and the same old us…that is, if we continue on the path of destruction that many of us are on. According to the news, there have been two-hundred-and-eighteen murders this year, and already eleven in the month of August.
These numbers tell me that many of us have watched the illness, crime, death, financial struggle and overall relationship and family destruction that has been taking place; yet have failed to be the difference. It is obvious that many of us have become immune to the loss of life and overall hate that surrounds us. What makes it sad is that some of us are selling our souls to the Devil in order to hold fast to the evil that this world has to offer, while watching all that should truly matter, crumble.
Because I realize firsthand, what it is like to lose someone close, and how it can affect someone’s mental health, I empathize with anyone who suffers a loss of any kind. Since Covid, many people, including myself, have lost friends, family, homes, jobs, and many things that were once extremely important. The one thing that I have not lost, however, is my faith in God. In addition, while many of my friends have suffered through losses due to illness, broken relationships and violence, I realize that a large number of people still fail to realize how short life really is. It is extremely disappointing to witness what appears to be, a disregard for love, loyalty, and the overall value of human life.
Recently, I had to say my final goodbye to my friend of over forty years and my heart continues to hurt. This was yet another friend that I lost since the pandemic began…another THING…another SITUATION to negatively affect my mental health. Losing good people…those who add quality to my life and contribute to my healthy mental state makes me appreciate how precious life truly is. It makes me want to work on communicating better, loving more, and showing those I love how much they are truly appreciated. Unfortunately, with the rise in crime and the loss of life that is taking place daily, it is apparent that not all of us are of the same mindset.
While I realize the importance of love community outreach, community and family support and healthy, long-term relationships, many of us continue to navigate through life with the mindset of “me, first”. This mindset continues to destroy friendships, rip apart families, and devalue the sanctity of marriage. As a result of all of the broken relationships, conflict and loss, many are left with nothing but hurt, mental anguish and feelings of inadequacy. Even worse, broken relationships are leaving many of us with unresolved, undiagnosed and unpretreated mental health issues.
I hurt for the youth of today who will not know what it is like to have forty- and fifty-year friendships. I hurt for my children who don’t know what it is like to maintain decade long relationships that they can count on and knowing what it is like to have life-long bonds with friends who are truly in their corner. Saying goodbye to my dear friend, Tweetdy, was bittersweet. I was blessed to have had a friend in Tara for all of these years. Our bond stood the test of time. From elementary school bickering to high school disagreements and beyond. We continued to withstand periods of no contact to hour long telephone conversations to personal visits to my job and impromptu “how are you?” texts. We witnessed one another grow from little girls into loving and caring women, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. I hurt, nonetheless because I will miss picking up where we left off, as we always did. I will miss her genuine spirit…always encouraging…always loving.
The losses I have experienced over these past few years continues to trigger my trauma. The sadness, depression and anxiety engulf me as I witness the nonchalant demeanor of those around me; experiencing continuous losses, yet never realizing that a change in their attitude is necessary…always blaming, always judging…never kind…never wrong. People take for granted those they push away, never stopping to realize how quickly and permanently loved ones are being snatched away from them. So many are willing to sacrifice losing love, companionship, relationships, family, and long-term friendships over petty arguments and disagreements rather than admit fault, apologize, or simply offer an olive branch.
In a world where each day above ground is a blessing, many are hateful and fail to see the blessing in each moment that God has given us. From my viewpoint, when we cannot see that loving each other and mending our broken fences is a major need for a healthy mind, we already have an unhealthy mind; are suffering with some degree of mental illness.
There are many people going through repeated losses yet failing to heal from them; only coping. For this reason, they become desensitized, in my opinion, to the emotional and mental needs of others. Not verbalizing our hurt and pain does not make it disappear. Alcohol and drugs do not cure our hurt, it simply dulls the pain. They allow us to cope for a short time while ignoring the seriousness of what could be a mental illness. When we can truly allow others to speak their truth and respect their doing so…when we cease creating narratives for the lives of others…when we comprehend that it is necessary that we accept whatever part we played in the trauma of others and that they have a right to speak about it…until we stop judging others for speaking their truth…until we are honest enough to speak our truth, we will never be fully in control of our mental health, nor will we beat the crisis we are in.
With there being nearly one life lost per day IN WHAT WAS ONCE THE GREAT CITY OF BALTIMORE, the suicide rate ever increasing, and Covid numbers quickly rising, time is of the essence. All I see from my viewpoint is the need to help those whom I can, for me to do my part to mend my broken fences. Truly taking my mental health seriously, although at times difficult, allows me to focus through the blurred lines from my tears and gives me the courage to continue to strive to not only keep living, but to live each day with purpose, and do all I can to enjoy every day that God gives me. I often find myself wondering if I can keep fighting…how much longer I can go on; then, I remember all that I have faced, the war I am in and battles I’ve won. I am then reminded that there is still fight left in me to win this battle, not only for my mental health, but for those who suffer silently, afraid to speak about the demons they face; silenced at the hands of others mental health. We have to stop judging and start mending…mend those broken fences. Let’s start by working on a healthy mind, body and spirt.
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!!
SUICIDE HOTLINE 800-273-TALK
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!! Defy the Stigma!
Dying to be Perfect 