BABIES BEFORE MARRIAGE…MEN SLEEPING WITH MEN…WOMEN SLEEPING WITH WOMEN…MEN WITH TWO WIVES...WOMEN WITH TWO HUSBANDS…SOME HOMES WITH TWO FATHERS…SOME HOMES WITH TWO MOTHERS…ATHLETES AND RAPPERS ARE THE ROLE MODELS...CHILDREN PAYING THE BILLS…CAN’T AFFORD TO EAT…NO SENSE OF LOYALTY…NO ACCOUNTABILITY…NO COMMUNICATION…BROKEN HOMES…HIGH DIVORCE RATE…CRIME…DRUGS…LOST YOUTH...INFIDELITY IS NOW THE NORM…MOTHERS WORKING MULTIPLE JOBS…SINGLE PARENTS RAISING CHILDREN ON THEIR OWN…COUPLES COHABITATING NOT WILLING TO MARRY…
The list continues. Some of the things mentioned may be shocking to some, offensive to others, and some may have no feelings about them at all at all. Unfortunately, no matter how any of us feel about them, we, as a society have become numb to the effects that each of these factors play in the generational curse that is destroying the fabric of our lives. This destruction is not only pertaining to the families that we have created by blood, but also those we at one time created through community.
We have devalued not only our sense of community outreach and involvement. We have devalued our sense of family tradition, morals, and values. Simply put, many of us have lost the ability to show love. Some of us are so broken and bitter that we have not allowed ourselves to be loved…TRULY loved. We put up a guard against everyone yet blame them when things don’t work out, or we are insensitive to the needs of others and blame them because they have standards.
The problem I see with all of this is that we are allowing these things to negatively affect our children. When we no longer go to grandmas for Sunday dinner, attend church on Sunday as a family, eat dinner together as a family…we don’t have game night and family vacations…we don’t take the neighborhood kids to the beach or on vacation…when the community does not sweep the front and clean the alley together…when neighbor’s do not speak…when I cannot correct your child for doing something wrong…when you allow your child to speak disrespectfully to adults…
When these things do not change…when the very people that these things affect do not care, there is no hope. We have to normalize getting back to a sense of community…love…family…values…tradition…caring…helping…empathy…friendliness…When these things become the norm once again, we will see a better tomorrow. When we address our mental health issues and get help for our children, we will see a better tomorrow. When we are honest with our children and seek the resources they need, we will see a better tomorrow.
Let’s normalize having traditional families. We are single handedly, inflicting emotional and mental abuse on our children simply by our lifestyles. We are telling them to keep struggling and overworking through what we call hustle. We are teaching them to disrespect women by how we treat their mother or how we allow men to treat us. We teach our girls how they should be treated as well by how we allow men to treat us and by what they see their dads do to women. Men who have affairs and children outside of the marriage leave a trail of trauma in their wake.
When we, as parents do not address our issues with our children, we bring them into our adulthood, and it oftentimes effects our parenting. Our children carry that trauma, and it is usually acted out in some form. In addition, many families that have a history of trauma continue as normal…their normal… and no help is sought to end the cycle. What we get is a generation who has normalized dysfunction. They live in functional dysfunction, which is their regular way of life.
In order for us to save what is left of our community and more importantly, our youth, we have to focus on mental health as a whole. The first step in doing so is to take accountability by parenting our children and holding them accountable, holding ourselves accountable for our wrongdoing, get back to the traditions and values that we were raised by, get back into the church and hold our church leaders and politicians accountable. The same God that saved you and your mom back in the day, is the same God that can save your family…the same God that can save this city…our community…our dying world.
Finally, when I glance at all of the things that today’s youth have to face, I’m blessed that my children and I only had to deal with maybe ten things on that list. I know some who can check off every item; some can add to it. The bottom line is, our youth, the community, the world is dying. We need the youth to be healthy mind body and spirit in order to have a chance to move in a positive direction. It’s our time to step in. Break the cycle. Be transparent…be healed…be a part of the change.
Dani
Mind, body, spirit
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!!
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