I never thought that I would see the day that men would become so comfortable in their hate for women. The hate runs so deep that many of these men are comfortable with openly expressing their downright hate for the women, who at one time, were held in high regard. These men, especially in the past few years, no longer seek to protect women. Rather than look for love, and a life partner, they seem to project the hate for the women who raised them onto the women who want to love and support them.
Sadly, this hate is being spewed without hesitation, and by black men of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds. Some of the terms, low value (lv), high value (hv), BBW(big black woman), not worthy, etc. are simply a few of the terms that many men are using to refer to black women. There was a time when men would never attempt to refer to a woman in a derogatory manner; especially not openly. Today, they do not hesitate to express their disrespect; yet want RESPECT.
Still desiring families, the men of today, rather than PROTECT WOMEN, they PROJECT their disrespect because of the mothers who abandoned them. Rather than face their own demons, they are choosing to marry outside of their race and even other countries; choosing women who they believe will treat them differently.
Todays men remember the various men their mothers entertained (calling them uncle), the father’s they didn’t know, the loneliness as a child, all of the places they couldn’t go. Toward the women of today, rather than protect, they project the hurt they remember. They still see their mothers with multiple children yet no fathers to raise them. They remember having to be the “man of the house” when only a young boy. They believe that single mothers are unworthy of marriage or love from a man. Degrading men who become step fathers, along with the women they are loving, is the new thought process. Would their feelings be different had someone stepped up to love their mother and help raise them? When will the cycle be broken?
From where I stand, and what I see, what is supposed to be a natural life process is simply turning into the death of relationships, and the end of the traditional family. Unfortunately, these grown men are more comfortable with projecting their anger than protecting the women who love them. In response, we as women, tired of being degraded and compared to the women who came before us…without ever being given a chance…have figured out how to survive alone and protect ourselves. This trauma response which has been forced upon us, is also leading to a breakdown in our male/female relationships.
This thought process, and the actions which derive from it, are counterproductive. How will we continue to create healthy families and build strong communities if we are competing with those we are to love? The only way is to face our traumas and realize that we need healing. We must seek professional help. Therapy, medication 💊 and prayer…a personal relationship with God allows us to recognize how our trauma plays a part in how we navigate through our personal lives.
We are in desperate need of our strong men to stand up. They must stand up and realize that many women of today WANT and not NEED, them…realize that admitting past hurts is strength and not weakness…HEAL in order to stop hurting others. Men must understand that many of the women today, like them, are hurting. The difference is we, as women, want to love them and not be in competition with them. We are simply, like them, attempting to survive in this crazy world. Like them, we too, are hurting mentally from past traumas. We are trying to unsee similar experiences, yet still learn from them.
The same men who are now bitter, are hating women, refusing to respect us, leaving us broken with fatherless children…repeating a viscious cycle…PROJECTING AND NOT PROTECTING. All I can do is cringe; not in judgement, but in sadness. My heart breaks. It not only breaks for my fellow sisters who are left broken, but for the children who will suffer; left in the aftermath.
Enough is enough! Now, in THIS NEW SEASON we must change the narrative. We as women must determine our own worth. We must walk away from men who devalue us and refuse to look beyond our past. Finally, we must accept responsibility for our choices and heal from our traumas. We cannot continue to blame all men/women for the others who hurt us. Simply put, we have to love ❤️ in order to rebuild our family 👪 unit and save our most vulnerable…our children. We need our men to seek healing for what ails them and rid the mindset of the men of today…MEN WHO PROJECT, RATHER THAN PROTECT.
Dani❤
I’m Turning My Pain into my Prayerful Purpose.
Mind, Body, Spirit
MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!!
Defy the Stigma!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
THERAPY/MEDICATION/PRAYERWORK
BE A CYCLE BREAKER
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