Again, after the emotional upheaval, after being so close to the ledge, after desperately needing what I so often give…a lifeline, I am able to think. With a much clearer head today, than that of yesterday, I realize, My Time Is NOW. The time is not tomorrow…next week…in a few hours or even years. The Time Is NOW. I, like so many others, have wasted so much life trying to DO SOMETHING. Either we are trying to find a job, or trying to find a man, or trying to get married or trying to take care of bills, or trying to lose weight, or trying to…yet the more I try, the longer it seems to take and the worse I seem to feel. At times, I feel as if my life is in an unending nightmare. All I want to do is live the rest of my days in love and peace. I don’t want to wait for Christmas, 2024, not even my birthday. I have wasted too much time already. My Time Is NOW!
When I look back at all that I’ve been through, how many times I’ve had to start over, how many losses I’ve taken, and how many times God has delivered me, I realize that I’ve wasted too much time. The time I spent explaining my hurt…A WASTE.
The time I spent worrying…A WASTE.
The time I spent angry with those who betrayed me…A WASTE.
The time I spent in my hurt…A WASTE.
The time I spent clearing my name…A WASTE.
The time I spent matching negative energy…A WASTE.
The time I spent holding on…A WASTE.
I wasted too much time. I can’t put a value on my wasted time, because time is invaluable. It is something that is impossible to get back. The
seconds added to minutes…minutes added to hours and days…days turned into months which have multiplied to years and decades. Oh, the time I spent…A WASTE; SUCH A WASTE 🗑. What I realized in my pain, was that I had wasted an immeasurable amount of time. What I learned in my healing…MY RECOVERY…even waste has its purpose.
Things that were once important to me, no longer are. Now, I know that I don’t need to explain my feelings. They are mine…OUR FEELINGS AREN’T MEANT FOR OTHERS.
As I reflect, I see how God always shows up for me. I NEVER NEED TO WORRY; yet I continue to anyway. I must improve.
I realize that too many people want to see the bad in others; therefore I never should waste time clearing my name…the truth will reveal itself in God’s timing. In addition, I must stop matching the negative energy I receive….doing this, kills my spirit and negates my purpose. I have hard work to do in this area. Finally, I have stopped holding on to relationships out of love. I learned that no matter how much I love someone, or want to help them, not letting go is unhealthy. I have been awakened to so much during this process. I am continually metamorphasing as I shed old, learn new, grow and repeat.
My season of conversion has taken me through various periods; yet, each time, I’ve come out stronger, wiser, and more confident. More importantly, my faith is stronger, because I have witnessed what God can do. So, although some time was wasted, was it really? I may not be able to recoup years, time, or money lost. I may not be able to unbreak a heart 💔 or have mine repaired. I can’t take back any hurt that I’ve caused, words that may have stung, sins I’ve committed, not even regain missed opportunities or add years to my life. These things; however, are not solely the attributes that constitue wasting time, or the lack thereof.
Being able to self reflect is major. Seeing 👀 my opportunities for growth, inspires me to want to grow…become better. Becoming closer to Christ, believing him for what He has promised…a major win. Having new people to love and care for, and having it be reciprocated; for me, is like HITTING THE JACKPOT. Finally, just going through life carefree…not worrying about what my husband will think or say (he accepts me for who i am)…being mentally free, and sharing my story, in order to allow others to do the same, are all reasons, that what seems to be a waste, proved to be the perfect pathway to my purpose.
No matter how much it may hurt, I try not to view the setbacks, losses, betrayals, and heartbreaks as wasted time. I do all I can, to look for the lessons and grow from them. I allow God to use me as a vessel to teach others. When I begin to feel that I have wasted time, I refocus my attentions on something positive. I do all I can to live in each moment. I am focusing on what is before me, and wasting time no more.
GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I.
Dani❤️💋
Turning the Pain into My Prayerful Purpose
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Dying to be Perfect 