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Something else I’ve learned during my healing process…
LISTEN TO GOD!
Every road block is there for a reason. We have to stop thinking inconveniences are LIFE ALTERTERING DISADVANTAGES, and view them as detours, to LIFE SAVING CHANCES.
Sometimes, the things we keep forcing, causes us to enact our own detriment.
Allow me to be transparent for a minute:
I’ve known for about three months, there was a possibility I would undergo surgery. I struggled for awhile; unsure of whether I would do it. After much prayer, I agreed. For two months now, I’ve been struggling with my upcoming Nov 1st surgery date.
I’ve been doing everything, I can think of, to prepare ( getting affairs in order, cleaning, having difficult conversations, spending time with friends, trying to check things off of my bucket list, spending time with my children, praying…really hard…having real, honest, conversations with God…and just living…enjoying my peace and CHOOSING ME. While debating if I would go through with the surgery, something in me has been so unsettled, but the peace, joy, happiness and love I feel, has been overwhelming. I’ve been afraid of having the surgery, but I couldn’t say it. I COULDN’T SAY I WAS SCARED…AFRAID…IN FEAR, so I carried it. After all, who gives a damn? Everyone has their own stuff, so, I told God. I knew He would hear me, He would listen, He would understand, and He would lead me. Guess what? HE DID!!!!
This isn’t my first surgery; I’ve had tons, but this is the first time I’ve actually been afraid that I was going to die. IM NOT AFRAID OF DYING…ABSOLUTELY NOT! I’m afraid of leaving something undone. IM AFRAID OF NOT BEING READY; YOU KNOW, LIKE PACKING FOR A TRIP…YOU CLEAN UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE? WELL, I FELT LIKE I WAS LEAVING AND NOT COMING BACK. These feelings have been haunting me daily for two months, and it’s something I’ve never felt.
Fast forward to the past two weeks…
Everything that needed to be done in order for the surgery to take place, was in someone else’s hands. My pre opp appointment, I missed, and all of the other details were simply not falling into place, in order to make this Nov 1st deadline. The more frustrated I became, the more I heard God’s voice saying” LISTEN TO ME”. I’VE GOT IT. IT WILL BE OK.
Today, I rush to get to my appointment, get there on time(that never happens)😂. My doctor, who I’ve been seeing for fifteen years now, refused to see me, because he never received the paperwork, that was sent a month ago. I called, had it refaxed, waited for twenty minutes, and still nothing. My doctor HAS NEVER REFUSED TO SEE ME. HE WOULD HAVE LET ME BACK TO TALK, CALLED, SOMETHING. This was the last straw for me. God was in my ear.
As helpful as the front desk tried to be, I simply stated, ” it’s fine. God is telling me not to have this surgery”. I left. All I can do is cry. You see, God has been telling me all along, not to have this surgery; to give it time, and he would be the doctor. He knows that with everything else I have going on, I can’t afford seven weeks of down time. He wants me to be busy living.
I am thankful for all that I’ve been through, because it’s taught me the gift of discernment. What God wants for us, we don’t have to fight hard for (not to be confused with working hard), we don’t have to beg, borrow and steal to get it, and it’s not confusing. What God wants us to have will be smooth, and we’ll get it when he knows that we will be good stewards over our blessings, and that we will care for, and protect those He places in our midst.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Stop fighting so hard, stop worrying about everything, and trust in the Power of God. BE A GOOD STEWARD. ALLOW THE DETOURS GOD PLACES ON YOUR PATH, TO LEAD YOU TO THE ROAD OF YOUR LIFE SAVING PURPOSE
CHOOSE JOY
Dani 💋❤️
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