I need a hug y’all.
There is so much happening at one time y’all. I really need a pick me up. I need a hug…a date with my bff’s…a girls night…a vacation…some money…some good news…Something! I haven’t been to therapy since I started on this new medical insurance. I have to find a new therapist; as of date, I have not. I feel myself crashing. I’m doing everything I know how to do, but I can’t take one more delay…one more check being lost…one more illness…one more death…one more disappointment…one more setback…NOTHING! My cup is overflowing, and I need something to be taken away before I can handle anything else.
I need someone who can empathize with my plight…someone who GET’S IT. It’s crazy to me how one person can go through so much in life, and others go through very little. It’s further crazy that those of us with the biggest hearts go through the worst of it. This is not a complaint…IT’S MY TRUTH! This is, and always has been, my life as an empath.
As empaths, we often find ourselves helping…giving…doing…loving…serving everyone else. We give to those we love and those whom we don’t know. We love too hard and stay too long. We oftentimes, give when we don’t even have. We help even when, we ourselves, need help. Sadly, those same people we do for, are often, the very ones who mistreat us…betray us…hurt us…lie on us…talk badly about us…are jealous of us…abandon us. Even after all of these disappointments, we continue to love…give…help…serve…and do for others.
Being an empath is draining; yet rewarding. The draining part is that we rarely receive reciprocal love and are often labeled as mean when we demand respect or set boundaries (regardless of the second chances). The rewarding aspect is seeing others happy…thriving…successful. Helping others make me feel good. It lifts my spirits and allows me to live in my purpose; however, seeing someone hurt breaks my heart as much as seeing them happy, makes me feel good. It’s a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type of situation.
As I type this, my heart aches, my mind is clouded, my head hurts…I feel somewhat anxious because of all that is happening…having to move…health issues…family worries…no money…various court cases…bills. To add fuel to the fire, I have several friends who are battling cancer…grieving…losing the battle with depression…feeling unworthy, unloved and unwanted…and I just found out that one of them is living in a shelter. I feel helpless. I am the one who figures out how to help everyone, but now I can’t even help myself. I am not ok.
In spite of all that I am going through in my own life, empathy won’t allow me to forget about…worry about…try to help others. Although I am left to figure this thing out all alone, my empathy won’t allow me to focus on only me. I still have to help someone else, if I am able. This is the life of most empaths…it’s a blessing, and a curse. Even with this ugly truth, I wouldn’t change who I am for anything in this world. I love who God created me to be.
With tears in my eyes, I just say “thank you Lord for my pain, because it has led me to my purpose. Please Lord, remove from within me, the things that I can no longer bare…whatever has me bound and replace them with a solution…resource…healing. Give me the focus to always remember to put me first so that I may have the energy to assist others, Amen”.
If you are an empath, and you know the struggle, I pray for your strength and discernment. I encourage you to keep going, in spite of the struggles, but never forget that you must put yourself first before you can do anything to help others. Let me know in the comments, if this has helped you…if you can relate…if this you, too. Have an amazing day, and a Wonderful Wednesday, on Purpose. GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
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