A Transition

Pre Move

I had to take time out to say this. It’s a long read, but necessary.

Story Time:

Two months ago, due to unforseen circumstances, I found out I had 60 days to move. That may sound like a lot of time, but when fighting anxiety and depression, IT’S LIKE 1 DAY. I’ve been unable to pack because I had nowhere to go. Trying to fight the black hole that was trying to envelope me, I stayed positive, continued to live my life, and prayed. Each day, I filled out applications, applied to programs, went to physical therapy …I did whatever I could do to secure a place. Some days, even when nearly paralyzed with pain, I did something. Running into multiple brick walls 🧱, everytime I attempted to pack…I couldn’t. The worse feeling in the world for me, has been feeling unable to control my income, transportation and shelter 😪 💔 😔 😢 😞. Finally, I was approved for a place(not the greatest of neighborhoods), but it was something. I had to stretch the truth, but I had to figure it out…right? In conjunction with all of this, I need to keep my son’s head on straight because he was getting depressed as well. Due to budget cuts, BCPS didn’t pick him up for Summer School, so his income was gone until September. In addition, he was out of a car 🚗 (since April) so looking for additional work or temporary work was nearly impossible. He’s filled out applications, but no luck. ( we’re hiring) doesn’t always mean you’ll get a job. Anyway, now in addition to worrying about my health and shelter, I had to worry about him. I suggested that he ask his dad, but he never wants to because…well nvm.
About 45 days into this bs, God began to open doors. I got a house 🏠 and I was elated…the opportunity to buy, and my two children would be with me was perfect. Suddenly, my daughter (living with her dad) needed somewhere to go…nvm about that because I was about to go to jail…ANYWHOO…another thing added to my plate 🍽…now, I’m worried about her, because when you can’t depend on your mfn parents…nvm 🙄. I was thankful that we all had somewhere to go…wait… I forgot, I wouldn’t be able to move into the house until Aug-Sep. Now, there was the stress of looking for temporary housing. Bet…my BFF told me I could stay with her, and my son had a place to stay. My daughter was sheltered temporarily, but now, my mom had to find a place because her place was no longer accommodating her disability. I went on vacation, had an amazing time, and began packing upon my return. Yesterday (Monday)was my move out day; however, all plans for temporary shelter fell through on Saturday. My son now has nowhere to go. I looked for alternatives…nothing. He refused to contact his dad. He would rather be homeless 😳😢 smh…but this is someone who claims to be such an amazing dad…NVM I’ll be asked why I put this on fb…ANYWHOO, I contacted my gf to advise that idk if I was going to her house. I was looking for places for both of us…nothing…yall, I literally got sick. Im looking at thousands of dollars 💸 💵 💲 🤑 💰 💱 worth of clothes, shoes 👞, and purses👛 👜, being given away. I realized I had too much shit!!! With nowhere to go, I had to get rid of everything including furniture. FOR FREE!!! The movers came, but nothing was packed. I stayed another night and continued making calls. 1600.00 pm for one room with two beds 🛌 was the best we could find, yet I needed a guaranteed income and worker’s comp wasn’t accepted. Smh. Finally, we figured something out at the 11th hour…NO, GOD SHOWED UP IN THE NICK OF TIME, LIKE ALWAYS.
I had the first anxiety attack that I’ve experienced in a while. I scared my son and friend, but Im ok. So I took this break to share this because, as always, transparency matters.

Moral of the Story:

I never attempt to pretend to have a perfect life because 1. Pretending is too much work. 2. The truth will always reveal itself. 3. THERE IS NO SUCH THING.

I continue to do all I can to live a joyful life because life happens. I am real about my praise because GOD ALWAYS SHOWS UP. I know that if there was nothing for me to go through, I wouldn’t have a reason to praise Him. I pray that my testimony 🙏 🙌 ✨️ gives others who may be going through, a reason to believe.

Finally, I shared this because this is the second time in 7 years that Ive been homeless, and the 5th move in as many years. HOMELESSNESS IS REAL! THE SYSTEM IS SET UP TO KEEP THE BROKEN BROKE AND BROKEN. MY SITUATION WAS NOT MY DOING, AND EVERYTHING THAT’S HAPPENED SINCE 2019 HAS BEEN AN AFFECT OF IT. People think that everything is so simple, but when rent is 2000.00 and you need an income 3x the monthly rent with a 650 credit score…jobs are only paying 16-25 dollars ph….BTW, In order to get assistance from the government, YOU NEED AN EVICTION NOTICE😂😂😂😂isn’t it too late by then? Then once there’s an eviction on your record, you can’t get approved. Some of you are judging shit, but everything isn’t what it seems. Things are not always black and white.

Anyway, stop judging. Stop asking questions, and simply do what you can to help. Ppl can’t afford to live, and unfortunately, some ppl have no family to help…THEY ARE THE HELP…I was always everyone else’s help, so my help is limited; not because they won’t, but because they can’t. People are struggling…even those who don’t speak or post about it. I’m just keeping it 💯.

If you don’t have faith, idk how you’re making it. If you’ve never needed help, be happy; but your turn is coming. I pray that you make it through. Whatever you’re going through…God will show up. He hasn’t forgotten about you. Never stop believing in the power of prayer, and never be ashamed to ask for help; those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.

Finally, to everyone who has prayed for and with us, dried a tear, given me money for my vacation/birthday, assisted us with housing our animals/us, helped with resources and/or transportation…my church family…I LOVE YOU, AND TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED. WE APPRECIATE YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW. S/N AS LONG AS I’M ALIVE, I’LL NEVER SLEEP NOT KNOWING WHERE MY CHILDREN WILL SLEEP.

Please share this. Someone needs to know that everything will be alright.

GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I!!!

Dani💋❤️

Mind, Body, Spirit

MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!!!

Defy the Stigma!