I don’t take sides on things that have nothing to do with me. What I will say is, I listen, and I do what I can to bring peace. My healing journey has shown me that sometimes, peace simply means that we have to agree to disagree, and be okay with walking away from what disturbs our peace.
Healthy relationships and loyalty come with effective communication and LISTENING. Name calling, rehashing old issues and revealing secrets, is not what is done if you really love someone. Understandably, many of us want to hurt those who have hurt us, but if there was ever real love, our choices should be different. The fact is, more often than not, most people choose to degrade, berate, switch the narrative and cause division because it’s easier than admitting fault. It’s easier to shift blame than to look in the mirror and see the shame of betrayal look back at us.
While I am for counseling, mediation, respect, and repairing broken relationships, I’m never in agreement with staying where we dont feel valued or heard, however, deciding to walk away should always be done with respect.
Finally, the notion that we have to tell others about our experience about a person, or ask for and give reviews about our experience with people, only opens the door for prejudices and skepticism about things that we would not otherwise question. Remember this: Leaders can stand alone. They do not need others to confirm their bs. They don’t need to embellish, lie, or switch narratives. Great leaders are positive, they listen, they are self aware, they are morally in tact, and they do what they can to be peaceful. In no way, does being peaceful mean “remaining quiet about lies, defamation or false narratives”. The truth is, relationships are difficult because they take work. Relationships take humility. Relationships take sacrifice, and relationships require us to show love and concern for others. More often than not, when relationships end, it’s because at least one party is selfish and/or dishonest. Selflessness and honesty are requirements for healthy relationships. Without these ideals, peaceful relationships are impossible.
As I continue my healing journey, I will never tell anyone that their feelings aren’t valid. I will never encourage unhealthy relationships, but I will say that when we really love someone, communication is a must. If it is decided that the relationship will end, how we treat those we claim to love, speaks volumes about our character and intentions. After all, our actions speak to our character. I have walked away from relationships. The one I feel was worth saving, I blew my chance because I allowed my hurt and anger to prevent me from choosing respectful words. I take partial responsibility for that relationship being damaged beyond repair. This error in judgement, confirmed, for me, that words make a difference…words can’t be unsaid. For this reason, I always try to keep peace first, and remain respectful.
To anyone struggling with any relationships, If you really love someone, I urge you to communicate. Be careful of what you say while angry. The wrong words and actions can cost you relationships with those you love, and we all know that healthy, loving, and strong relationships are difficult to come by.
I love yall, and I pray that you receive the love you deserve.
Dani 💋❤️
Mind, Body, Spirit
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