It’s December 11, 2021, Day 17. There are only fourteen days left until Christmas. As I lay here alone on yet another Saturday night, I reflect on the last few days and nights. Those too, spent alone, I realize that the closer Christmas gets, the harder it gets for me to stay in the holiday spirit. As I reach out and attempt to keep others motivated and uplifted, I find that I too need motivation.
The mounting bills, facing eviction, lack of financial support and medical issues aren’t even the problem. Yes, these things may stress me, however, it’s the loneliness that is the real issue. It’s almost impossible to not focus on how lonely I am when there is literally no one around. All of the people I used to hang out with are married. They are still hanging out together so I’m the odd ball out. I’ve been cast away so to speak. I’m pretty sure that others feel similarly. When you add financial burdens, it magnifies the depressed mood.
This is not acceptable! I will not end 2021 in the same manner that I ended 2020. I will accomplish something…we all must. If we do no more than celebrate differently, start our own traditions, end a tradition or relationship…2022 has to be a fresh start in order that we may begin anew. My loneliness will not get me stuck in the same position and feelings from 2021. New opportunities await!
Dying to be Perfect 